Dr Ann McPherson CBE
Dr Ann McPherson, the Chair of HPAD, died on Saturday 28 May (see Guardian Obituary). She was always very open about being terminally ill, and indeed it was because of her openness, coupled with her determination and bravery, that HPAD was launched. Those working close to her knew how ill she was, and marveled at her strength and drive in her last months. Nevertheless, her death has come as a shock. Without Ann, HPAD would not exist, and our drive to deliver her dream that competent adults with terminal illness should be helped to die if that is their wish, will continue in her memory.
"I am dying of pancreatic cancer. I wish I wasn't. But dying isn't a failure on my part, it is part of life. I wish to live as long as possible, but not at the expense of enduring an undignified death. In the final days or weeks of my life, if I consider my suffering to be unbearable, I would like the choice to die at home at a time of my choosing surrounded by my loved ones.
"The law will change. Not just because people want choice and control over suffering at the end of life, but because by regulating assisted dying we will do more to protect people from abuse than the current law, which investigates cases after someone has died not when they request to die. This misses a valuable opportunity for healthcare professionals to outline alternative options in care and treatment. But unfortunately this humane, compassionate and ultimately sensible change will come too late for me."
Dr Ann McPherson CBE, 22 June 1945 - 28 May 2011
“I’m feeling pretty bloody awful. The nurse and doctor came today to incise the abscess around my chest drain and made the unhelpful suggestion that I might need some antibiotics even though antibiotics make me sick. The GP certainly understands where I am coming from, but when I said that I can’t understand why I have to carry on living like this and why I can’t just die, the nurse said, ‘Well you might change your mind.’ I think it very unlikely I will change my mind, and even if I did I don’t care. It is nice to see people but if I had the choice there is no question that I would prefer to be dead than to see people. Because I feel so ill."
"I know everyone is different. It’s nothing specific: I just feel ill, and there seems to be nothing that can make that better. I feel really furious at this. I think it is cruel. In my practice I saw people who felt like this, and I felt I had let them down. I think my GP thinks that, but all she can do is say she is sorry and squeeze my hand.”